The World According to Imal

Musings on Life, the Universe and Everything.

"Imal is a warrior poet, a modern day Nostradamus without all the annoying quatrains."
-Greg Packer

"Heed the need to read my screed."

Published Wheneverly. A Proud American and Citizen of the Free Republic.

"Come for the coffee, stay for the pie."

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Sunday, February 15, 2004

My Great Quotes 

I have decided I should include some one-liners from my posts here and on the Free Republic and thus commit them to the ages. While having them presented in such a concentrated form, and in alphabetical order, no less, makes for some thick and potentially confusing reading, I am nonetheless proud of my pithy remarks, and feel they deserve coverage here.

And so, submitted for your consideration, are my great quotes as of this writing. Enjoy!

"America may not always be right, but God bless her, she's never wrong." -General Wombat

"Anti-war" protests aimed at only one side are merely acts of support for the other side.

"Defrost the chicken." -One-line NASA memo to British engineers shattering windshields in testing

"Dismemberment to the infidels!" -War cry of the moderate Wahhabi.

"Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!" -Ants in Space

"In the name of Allah, the merciful and compassionate" -First sentence, Al Qaeda Training Manual

"Objective journalism" is an oxymoron. There is not and never has been such a thing.

"Say, that's a nice bike." -T1000

"Spread rumors and write statements that instigate people against the enemy." -Al Qaeda Manual

"The member of the Organization must be Moslem." -Al Qaeda Training Manual

"The trouble with the movie is basically everything." Wesley Morris, Boston Globe, on "Timeline".

A solution dependent on other solutions is not a solution.

After Iraq, let's liberate California.

Al-Qaeda is not a single terrorist group but a global insurgency. -Daniel Byman

All statements are proposed by the speaker, but defined by the listener.

All we are saying is give Liberty a chance.

All words are defined by other words.

Amtrack: When you absolutely positively don't need to be there overnight.

An argument made from ignorance is not a convincing argument.

Anyone who thinks they know George W. Bush doesn't know him at all.

Apple is the Libertarian Party of the computer world.

Betraying those who elected you is not consensus-building.

Bush never said Iraq was an "imminent threat". Those who claim he lied are themselves lying.

Calling marijuana a narcotic is like calling beer a liquor.

Carpe Carpus: Seize the Carp.

Caution: Filling is hot!

Celebrate diversity, not institutionalized racism masquerading as diversity.

Censorship is a hallmark of Liberalism.

Circumstantial, purely circumstantial.

Communism is the fool's gold of politics.

Congress, the President and the Supreme Court cannot be trusted. Vote accordingly.

Corruption in government is as American as apple pie.

Deep down in their hearts, all Marxists know that Communism is just a bunch of sophistic crap.

Democrats are mere tools of the Communists, who themselves are mere tools of the Illuminati.

Despite the fact that God is everywhere, people still find ways to turn away from Him.

Did you know that Socrates taught that the best way to teach others is to ask questions?

Disagreeing with me is not a capital offense, but it should be.

Dr. King's call for equality has been hijacked by scoundrels and bent to the evil work of racism.

Enlightening the world one nuanced post at a time.

Euphemisms are the handmaidens of psychological tyranny.

Everyone is an immigrant.

George W. Bush is the worst choice for president in 2004, except for all the others.

Global Warming is the Phlogiston Theory of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries.

Hatred of the truth is no substitute for it.

Heed the need to read my screed.

I'm a pundit, not a prophet. There's a difference.

I am more interested in your opinions about my comments than your opinions about me.

I had to look so far to the left to read this article, my eyes hurt!

I have a perfect solution for every problem except my own.

I have to turn my head so far to the left to listen to NPR, it makes my neck hurt.

I only made this post to show off this cool tagline.

I want the anti-virus software hackers use.

I will never be a prophet.

If head scarves were outlawed, only outlaws would have head scarves.

If I can't stick a fork in it, it's not real.

If I had a dime for every time Bush's critics were right about him, I'd need to borrow a dime.

If I were an illegal immigrant, I'd vote too.

If they passed a law making spamming a capital crime punishable by feeding spammers alive to hungry sharks with lasers mounted on their heads, I would support it wholeheartedly.

If you are unable to accept the freedom of others to hold their own beliefs, discussions of your beliefs are irrelevant.

If you don't belong here, you don't belong here.

If you love America, defend it.

Ignorance is not safety.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. (Not mine.)

Intellectual thuggery is the calling card of Liberalism.

Iraq: Must be present to win.

Ironically, there really is a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

It is better to go to war than to have it come to you.

It is our duty as a people to ensure that our government remains under our control.

It is possible to be a Liberal without being a Marxist, but it is a lonely road these days.

It is unfortunate that reason is currently confined to a minority of the Supreme Court.

Leftists oppose private ownership of guns because it interferes with genocide.

Liberalism: Embracing the doctrine of pre-emptive surrender for over a century.

Liberalism: The idea that the people who couldn't make a 60's commune work should run the world.

Life on Mars would be no stranger than life in New Jersey.

Love is the one thing you gain more of by giving it away.

Love it or hate it, Bush has his own plan for America.

Making my life harder will not make your life easier.

Marxists understand and exploit the awesome and eternal power of the frustrations of youth.

McVeigh and Nichols did not act alone.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Super Solstice! Kwazy Kwanzaa!

More money is not the solution to bad government.

Mr. President, stop giving my money away.

Mubarak is Saddam without the beret.

My God, it's full of stars!

My last visit to San Francisco was my last visit to San Francisco.

Never anger a poet or a dancer.

No matter how nicely we dress, all humans are primates.

Nothing conveys raw animosity like a machinegun.

Nothing is more terrifying to a liberal than a strong America.

Oppose our troops? Go to hell. 'Nuf said.

Osama bin Laden is withholding his endorsement until a true Democratic frontrunner emerges.

Out trots another Horseman of the Hypocalypse.

Over two years after 9-11, thousands of unidentified people enter the U.S. illegally every day.

Palestinian Arabs will reap what they have sown.

Political correctness was described and predicted by George Orwell.

Political parties are convenient ways of letting others think for you.

Politics are at the heart of all war.

President Bush, teach the world to FEAR our troops.

Prisoners of China are legendary for their candor.

Respect is not given, it is taken.

Say, didn't the United Nations General Assembly also vote for the pink M&M?

Social Justice: The idea that robbing your neighbor is okay if some elitist demagogue says it is.

Students of Lincoln are de facto students of Bush.

Telephone polls rate only the opinions of those who are too stupid to screen their calls.

The best politicians are masters of the fine art of deadpan.

The best soldiers are zealots, the best officers patriots, the best generals philosophers.

The Civil War was a war of independence that failed.

The day Israel abandons the Torah is the day Israel forfeits its claim to the Holy Land.

The deadliest weapon is patience.

The difference between a cult and a religion is popularity.

The Free Republic: Come for the coffee, stay for the pie.

The French are starting to realize who will be next after all the Jews have been driven out.

The funny thing about aromatherapy is that it actually works.

The greatest warriors fight with serenity.

The interchangeability of money and power is the philosopher's stone of politics.

The last photograph from Mars showed a three-fingered hand reaching for the power switch.

The medical profession was invented to give golf addicts a way to support their habit.

The metaphor is a literary white elephant.

The moderates want to kill everyone. But the extremists want to torture them first.

The Palestinian Authority is to Hamas what Afghanistan was to Al Qaeda.

The Peace Prize is the Grammy of Nobel Prizes.

The problem with Islam is fundamental.

The real threat to America is HillQaeda.

The truth is absolute, depending on your point of view.

The truth needs no defense, but it deserves an audience.

The voices in my head just say NO to drugs.

The War on Drugs is a temporary triumph of brute force over reason.

The War on Drugs is the greatest criminal enterprise in human history.

The War on Drugs proves that sobriety does not equal sanity.

The will of God is the immutable law of all universes.

There are endless refuges for those who flee from the truth.

There are more crimes every year because there are more laws every year.

There is no "imminent threat" of the press being truthful about what Bush actually said.

There is no such thing as a collective right.

Those who idolize America's founding fathers should read George Washington's Expense Account.

Those who piously applaud the rule of law would do well to abide by it themselves.

TiVo is watching you.

To a free society laws are tools, not objects of worship.

To call Bill Clinton "the first black president" is to insult blacks the world over.

Truth is a balm to the righteous, and a poison to the wicked.

Ultimately, the human body is a consumable item.

Vegetarianism is a voluntary demotion to the bottom of the food chain.

Voluntary human shields make the incorrect assumption that the country they betray cares about them.

Warning: Sea monkeys may not appear as portrayed.

We could hardly call America the "Land of Opportunity" if we didn't have opportunists.

What the Free Republic needs is more cowbell.

What would we think if France had invaded Iraq, instead?

When you turn from the truth, you turn from God.

Without state powers to balance against total federal control, our nation is lost.

Wonder Bread helps build strong bodies 7 ways, after taxes.

You can tell me I'm wrong, as long as you can tell me why I'm wrong.

You will find few things less important in the universe than the yawning chasm of irrelevance that is the Democratic Underground. And I say that will all due respect.

posted by Imal  # 8:39 PM

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Passion Over "Passion" 

It is important to remember that Jews who honor the Torah (I'll call them "Jews", but there are many Jews who do not) cannot accept the idea that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God or part of a trinity and effectively God himself. To do so would be to renounce the teachings of the Torah and to violate the First Commandment. There are tremendous and insurmountable disagreements between the Torah and all of those things. Arguments which assume Jesus is the Messiah are meaningless to Jews.

A key point that seems to be lost in the discussion of Mel Gibson's movie The Passion of the Christ is the fact that Jews do not accept the Gospels as being historically accurate or sacred and inviolate. Rather they are viewed, with significant historical justification, as slanderous, hurtful and dangerous to Jews. Arguments based on the Gospels as historical truth are meaningless to Jews.

But I think it is important for Jews to recognize that the Gospels are sacred to Christians, and outline the foundations of their faith. To ignore that, even in light of key conflicts between Christianity and Judaism, undermines attempts to foster mutual understanding and respect. That is wrong.

For my part, I disagree with Abe Foxman and the ADL in their approach, but that does not inspire me to defame and attack them. They have legitimate reasons for concern, as the hateful tone of many public discussions amply demonstrates. But their concerns do not trump Mel Gibson's right to express himself freely in any way he wishes, especially where his religious beliefs are concerned.

Would Mr. Foxman and his associates stand idly by if Christians and Muslims insisted on dictating changes regarding important details of a movie about Moses and Mount Sinai being made by a Jewish producer/director? I think not, and I would not want them to. But the hypocrisy of going after Mel Gibson in light of such a thing should be obvious to anyone, regardless of faith.

I hope Mel Gibson will present the movie he wants to present, free of external tampering and pure to his vision.

I hope Abe Foxman and the ADL will come to recognize the fallacy of attacking the religious beliefs of others, even those which may be seen as hurtful, while seeking to defend Jews and Judaism. Such an approach ultimately will put Jews at odds with everyone else, and is not consistent with long-established Jewish tolerance for the non-violent religious practices of Gentiles. Disagreement need not mean conflict.

I also hope that those who call themselves Christians while indulging in the spread of lies, hatred and evil (you know who you are) will stop to consider who such endeavors really serve, and remember that such roads unfailingly lead away from God. If you truly embrace the teachings of Jesus, then live by them.

All words are defined by other words.

posted by Imal  # 1:13 PM

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